Edinburgh Day 4 - Hairy Coo tour, Doune Castle (where they shot Game of Thrones and Outlander)

11/14/2014

Cantilever Forth Bridge

We scrambled to eat breakfast in ½ hour, something of a feat, considering we usually take our slow-ass time about things. This is because we had to catch the 8:45am Hairy Coo tour at Edinburgh Castle. This is a “free” tour, as in you tip as you see fit. If you don’t like the tour at all, you don’t have to tip a dime and they won’t look at you funny. But considering how many places the guide took us to today, as well as how much knowledge he had to impart, please do tip!

When we got to the meeting point at 8:35am, it was to see that everyone was already there! The tour was sold out today, and damn, was it cramped in the bus. The bus went down Edinburgh Castle hill and across into New Town, then to the posh large houses in the quiet suburbs of New Town. We passed Fettes College, a beautiful building that now houses one of the most expensive private schools in the country.

Tilda Swinton and Tony Blair attended Fettes. In the Victorian era, there was huge interest in philanthropy. So, the rich would build all these fanciful buildings and erect schools. At one point in time, Edinburgh had a school for the blind, a school for the deaf, a school for disadvantaged children…you get the idea. Edinburgh had a school for everything. But gradually, the aims of the schools changed. Fettes is one such school that started out as a philanthropic pursuit and now is anything but.

The large houses in this area of town can cost upward to 2-3 million pounds. When they were first built, they were also intended for the wealthy. William Pitt, the Prime Minister of England in the 1700s, was trying to find ways to fill the treasury’s coffers. The rich weren’t paying their share of taxes (as true then as it is now!), so Pitt conceived something he thought rather brilliant. Charge a property tax on each house based on how many windows the house had. The theory behind this is that the richer you are, the more windows you’d have (think of a mansion with dozens of windows to allow in natural sunlight). This should have worked smoothly—if the Scots hadn’t figured out a way around this new tax. They’d paint over the windows so that the windows couldn’t officially be counted as windows. They said they’d choose no light versus paying the tax.

To this day, you can see where the windows were filled in or painted over. This is due to the Scots’ tradition of mistrusting their MPs. Yeah, even two hundred years later, the homeowners don’t want to take down the paint or concrete blocking their windows, for fear politicians will reenact the window tax. The tour guide said that in Scotland, the only reason they keep politicians around is so that the general populace can rag on them. It’s a national pastime, criticizing politicians.

We first drove to the bridges that span the River Forth. The one on the right was built in the Victorian era, following one of the worst railway accidents in UK history. A train fell off the then-standing bridge, plunged into water and killed everyone on board. The government commissioned a bridge that would never collapse, and that was what they got with this cantilever suspension bridge. A good deal of boys and men died—not from riding the train, but from constructing the train. There weren’t hard hats in those days and rivets would fall and hit their heads. The train is considered a symbol of Scotland—it was a monumental feat when it was first built and was the longest cantilever bridge in the world until New Zealand decided to build one.

The bridge on the left is from the 1950s. Engineers recently discovered that the inside of the wires were starting to corrode and they panicked, not wanting a repeat of a bridge falling apart as people drive across it. Money was approved to build a new bridge and construction started. Well, now they’ve figured out that all they have to do is breathe air into the internal of the wire and this stops the wires from corroding. Oops! Guess they didn't need a new bridge after all!

1950s bridge

Train traveling across Forth Bridge

The William Wallace monument across Stirling Castle. We saw it yesterday from Stirling, and now we’re actually here! The monument was built in the Victorian era and houses William Wallace’s sword. 

As Edward I aged, he worried that his son, Edward II, would be seen as an ineffective king. Though he agreed with his noblemen that his son was weak, he needed to make sure people followed his son once he was gone. So he decided to make an example of people who crossed him. He looked around and decided that William Wallace would be the one he'd use to make this example. He planned a dastardly end for Wallace, but first he had to capture him.

He bribed a Scot to lure Wallace to his castle. The unsuspecting Wallace went to the Scot's house, where he was immediately captured and dragged to London. He was given a farce of a trial (took all of 15 minutes for the 3 paid-off judges to deliver a verdict of "guilty") and sentenced to death.

Edward gave Wallace a choice: he'd die either way, but he could die painless (beheading) if he knelt and pledged fealty to Edward. Wallace refused, so Edward planned the most heinous death imaginable. He planned it for St. Bartholomew's Day, when there would be more people in London than usual (more of an audience to play in front of). Wallace was stripped naked, tied to a horse and dragged across London, where the peasants threw garbage at him. Then a noose was put on his neck and they'd pull him up and down, up and down, until he lost consciousness. They revived him, only to strap him to a table and start disemboweling him. Executioners were judged on their skills by how well they disemboweled the victims--the key is to take out the organs one by one, while keeping the person conscious. So Wallace not only felt each organ being taken out of his body, he saw his own organs--the executioner would present the organ to Wallace, then toss it in a fire. Finally, the heart is taken out and Wallace is dead.

Not satisfied with this, Edward has Wallace decapitated and the head boiled, tarred and feathered, and placed on a spike, displayed on Traitor's Gate in the Tower of London. William Wallace is actually the first person ever to have his head displayed on Traitor's Gate. Edward then had Wallace's body cut up into different pieces and sent to different villages in Scotland to be displayed, so to tell the Scots what would happen if they rose up against him.

The Scots didn't get the message.

Because of William Wallace's bravery, a few years later, the Scots would overthrow Edward II as their king (not that they ever admitted he was their king in the first place) and Robert the Bruce would become King of Scots.

William Wallace Monument

Throughout the tour, the guide kept telling us how historically inaccurate Braveheart was. There's no evidence William Wallace ever painted his face going into battle. He was a Lowlander, and it's not a lowland tradition to paint their faces or wear kilts. Kilts are the Highlanders. Painting faces blue is the Picts, a long-gone warrior tribe that lived in Scotland before the Scots arrived.

River Forth (and Stirling on the hill. Angel: Or, Stirling as Where's Waldo? Or Where's Wally? as we're in the UK)

Also, the term "Braveheart" was not in use during William Wallace's time. Supposedly, after Robert the Bruce died, his good friend Sir James Douglas (known as the Black Douglas) took Robert's heart to serve as a talisman during a crusade. Outnumbered and outgunned, the Black Douglas realized he might die. He throws Robert's heart out into the field and shouts, "Onward braveheart, Douglas shall follow thee or die."

Aaah, how cute! Little midget knights!

William Wallace's sword, in real life, was 5 feet 4 inches in height and 5.9 pounds in weight. He was a tall man, some say around 6 feet 5 inches. Back then, they could tell how tall a person was based on how tall his sword is.

The monument is situated on a mountain and the climb up is pretty steep. My thighs were still hurting from Stirling yesterday, and it seriously killed me today to get up that mountain.

Angel: If I had a pound for each time Jen complained about her thighs, I'd be richer than the Queen herself.

Jen: I thought the Queen asked to raise her budget this year?

William Wallace Monument

WINTER IS COMING.

I'd read on the Hairy Coo that we'd be taken to Doune Castle of Monty Python and the Holy Grail fame. As I've never seen this movie, I shrugged. Then Angel makes me look up what's so special about Doune Castle.

Game of Thrones was filmed here!!! Aaaahhh! They used the castle as Winterfell, though if you Google the images, you can see that they've completely CGI-ed Winterfell. It's almost unrecognizable, except the gate here:

Doune Castle

Angel: Our tour guide offered us coconut shells since they didn't have money for horses while filming Monty Python, so the crew clacked coconut shells to mimic the sound of horse hooves. Another interesting tie-in; in Game of Thrones the Monty Python insults ("I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!") was translated in Valyrian. =)

We used our Historic Scotland pass to get into Doune Castle to take pictures. The tour guide allocated 25 minutes here and everyone--seriously, everyone!--else didn't seem to have much interest in the castle. It could've been the rain deterred them. You can't see it in the pictures, but it is freakin pouring. The grass may look lush, but it's a sinking swamp of mud and our shoes were sinking into it. If it wasn't for GoT, I think I would've stayed on the bus too.

The Historic Scotland pass includes free audioguide here, so we got them, hoping to have enough time to listen. But by the time we finished taking pictures, we had all of 2 minutes to get back onto the bus. Boooo. >.< Would've loved to learn more about its history.

All we know is that the Duke of Albany ordered this castle built. He's the uncle of King James I, and was the one who held James captive until James reached majority. James hated his uncle and when his uncle fled the country, he ordered the beheading of his cousin (the Duke of Albany's son) and his sons.

The Duke of Albany never really resided here. He preferred Linlithgow and Holyroodhouse, so after his fall from power, Doune Castle became largely forgotten.

Oh, yeah, and Outlander (the insanely popular series by Diana Gabaldon) is filmed here as well. They said that Doune Castle has been besieged by fans, so much so that the film crew has found it hard to shoot. Scotland has a "right to roam" law that prohibits public areas from being entirely closed off.

The guide explained the meaning behind some of the more well-known Scottish surnames. Sometimes the surnames referred to your occupation--Smith = blacksmith, Taylor = tailor. Sometimes, they referred to hereditary features. Such as, MacGregor = man of the crooked mouth. Cameron = crooked nose, and he pointed out that David Cameron (who is Scot) does, in fact, have a crooked nose. Kennedy = ugly face. 

For lunch, our guide took us to Callendar, a town in the Highlands that was a popular tourist town in the Victorian era. He suggested Mohr Fish and Chips or Mohr Bakery for lunch, and said that the bakery has steak and haggis pie. 

Steak and haggis? I'm so there!

Mohr Bakery steak and haggis pie

It was pouring and freezing outside, so we rushed into the bakery and sat down in the cafe to order our pie. Other people from our tour straggled in, bought their pies in the adjacent to-go area and came into the cafe to eat the to-go food. The waitress was not pleased with them and said that in the UK, there's a tea charge if you don't buy from the dine-in menu. I guess the same pie has different prices, the to-go and the dine-in. I didn't even think about this, I was just thankful to get to sit down in the toasty warmth of the cafe.

Well, the people in our tour weren't very happy about this and started arguing with the waitress that the bakery staff did not advise them of this before they bought in the bakery. This happened with at least 2 different parties. I can understand both sides; if it were me, the experience of fighting with a waitress would seriously sour the tour experience. So it sucks that there was this misunderstanding. 

After lunch, we went to Loch Katrine, where Sir Walter Scott, the famous poet, was so inspired by the scenery here, he wrote Lady of the Lake. The poem became an instant hit, selling over 500 copies per week (a BIG deal in the Victorian era). A musical version of Lady of the Lake was soon commissioned and the songs proved very popular. One song, "All Hail the Chief," was so popular, that it was used to honor George Washington and celebrate the end of the War of 1812. In 1829, the song was used again to honor Andrew Jackson. To this day, this song is still played to announce the arrival of the President of the United States.

It's a gorgeous loch ("lake" in Gaelic).

The highlight of our tour is also the name of the tour company: the Hairy Coos. What is a hairy coo? "Coo" is "cow" in Gaelic, and this is the Scots version of a hairy cow:

Believe it or not, the horned beast is female! Her name's Fiona and she's the head of her clan. When the bus pulled up beside the paddock, Fiona immediately came toward us. There's wee bairns in her clan and it's her job to protect them, so she's coming toward us to defend her territory.

For Angel, Doune Castle was already a pretty big highlight of her day. But the hairy coos were the highlight of her day. I'm not sure what's with her obsession with livestock and animals, but she's been whining this whole time in Edinburgh that she wants to buy a hairy coo stuffed animal. She was soooo happy to see these coos, that, magically, her allergy to grass disappeared!

I'm more of the unicorn and stag creatures, myself. But Angel wanted me to take a picture with the coos, so I did.

The tour guide had 2 loaves of bread and Angel took one to feed the coos. She wanted to feed one of the babies, but a female coo kept shoving the baby out of the way. I'm not sure if she was protecting the baby or if she wanted the piece of bread for herself. These animals have been eating grass the whole day, but put a slice of bread in front of them, and they'll nearly come to blows to eat that bread!

All night long, Angel's been mimicking the way the baby coos mooed.

We stopped by another lake to see the sun setting:

Magnificent, isn't it?

I've been wanting to come to the Highlands for a long time, because the Highlands have such a mystical, romantic aura surrounding it. I guess it's part lore, part scenery, that makes this such a special place. Well-to-do Victorians would come up here to holiday and build vacation homes here.

It's hard to imagine that a long time ago, so much blood was shed for the right to control this country.

The Jacobite rising in the 1700s was perhaps one of the bloodiest times in Scottish history.

We stopped by the village of Aberfoyle for a short rest, and then drove to see a view of Stirling from afar:

The sun was setting fast at this point. The tour guide had talked the whole day (crazy job! I didn't think he'd really talk the whole day, but yeah, he somehow managed it), so on the ride back to Edinburgh, he played Scottish music. Did you know "500 miles" is a song from a Scottish band? I didn't! We heard music from the woman who voiced Merida in Disney's Brave. Oh, and my favorite! Loch Lomond. I thought we'd be visiting Loch Lomond today, which was a big reason why I signed up for this tour (Angel usually doesn't like doing tours and being crowded with everyone else). I guess I read wrong. We were in the general vicinity of Loch Lomond, just not at the lake. Booo!

"You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in Scotland before you..."

Or, the Scot version: "Ye'll tak the high road and Ah'll tak the low road, and Ah'll be in Scotlan' afore ye..."

Sigh. I could listen to that song again and again and never get sick of it. It's such a sad song, but holds so much meaning. I tear up every time I hear it in Cranford. The song was written during the bloody times of the Jacobite risings, most likely talking about the uprising of 1745 and the tragic Battle of Culloden.

In 1745, "Bonnie Prince Charlie," as the Scots called him ("The Young Pretender," as the English called him) had assembled an army to take back the throne. His grandfather, King James II, had been forced abdicate in favor of his daughter and son-in-law, Mary and William of Orange (House of Hanover), in 1688. James II was ousted by a pro-Protestant Parliament mainly because of his Roman Catholic leanings.

However, a lot of Roman Catholic Highland clansmen thought Bonnie Prince Charlie was the rightful king and wanted to restore the House of Stuart back to the throne. This culminated in the Battle of Culloden. The battle was fierce, and over in an hour. The Highlanders were butchered by the Duke of Cumberland's (William and Mary's second--and favorite--son) army and Bonnie Prince Charlie fled the scene. For several days after the battle, the British army roamed the countryside, hunting down Jacobites (Jacob = James, for King James II) and slaughtering them. Charles would live in exile for the rest of his life. And the Hanoverian dynasty would issue harsh terms to the fiercely independent Highlanders, to assimilate the Scottish Highlands into a proper English territory. Gaelic, long the Highlanders' language, was outlawed. So were kilts. Children weren't allowed to learn how to use knives or weapons of any kind. 

Gradually, these terms became stricter and stricter, to the point it was just downright persecution. The English just told the Highlanders to get out of the country and get off English land. So many Scots had no choice but to leave their homes and journey to a new world, leaving the Highlands a desert.

So, back to the song. There's many interpretations. One interpretation is that the song is sung by the lover of a captured Jacobite rebel set to be executed in London. The heads of the executed rebels would be set upon pikes and displayed between all the towns from London to Edinburgh along the "high road," the most important road. If you look at most English cities, there's always a High Street--and it's usually in a center of commerce. The "low road" is the ordinary road that commoners and peasants would walk on, and this is the road that most of the Jacobite rebels' relatives and friends would walk on, as the Highlanders weren't rich. High roads usually meant toll roads. So the singer would take the low road back to Scotland, and reach Scotland before her lover, because her lover's dead and his head is still mounted on the pike. Sad, hunh?

Angel's favorite pic of the day: